UPDATE on my canceled visit last week

this post is an UPDATE to the post at the following link!! http://singledadsfightingfathers.blogspot.ca/2013/04/shes-canceling-my-sleep-over-visit-today.html

Hello Friends:

So my ex sends a doctors note and a prescription to my lawyer, the Doctors note dated April 1 (2 days before our visit) and the prescription dated April 3 (The day of our visit) what is up with that.... She didn't get a prescription until I asked to see it..... That pissed me off, The doctors note stated that Matilda so today I called my daughters doctors note from April 1said this:


 
 And is all the prescription on the 3rd was drops 4 times a day....... So I called the doctor to make an appointment, and I let them know about my court order to view my daughters medical records and that I wanted to come by to ask some questions!

 I was waiting for a call back, when 2 hours later my EX texts me saying she is bringing her tomorrow and that I can have her for the night to make up for last weeks visit!!

See it is ALL games,  and it's all about how you handle them!, 

Just stop, freak out on your own if need to ( I know I did, and all our friends on SDFF Facebook page and here also helped me! ) , do what you have to do, calm your ass down, then think and,
 DO IT RIGHT!!! NEVER ACT ON ANYTHING WHEN YOUR ANGRY!  

Thanks everyone for all the help and advice you have had not just for me but for all of our friends here at SDFF (Single Dad's Fighting Fathers)!!

http://www.gofundme.com/SingleDadsFighingFathers Frank Saplamaeff

The time she called 911 on me for no reason

Hello again:

This story took place right after our first court appearance, She was ordered to allow me to see Matilda at her house supervised my her and her mother, at least Once a week for 2 hours, ( I had told them right then and there what was going to happen, and I was not wrong at all) although court ordered the grandma did not come to any of the visits


 The day after Matilda's first birthday I was visiting My daughter at her house with the supervision of her mother.... My mom and step dad and my nephew were also there, So we open all the gifts with Matilda, and one of things I had gotten her was a bubble maker, and I wanted to play with it with her out side in the back yard, but her mother said it was to Hot outside for her ( In her backyard full of trees and shade....) So I said I was going to use it in the house then...

At this point my mom and step dad had taken my nephew outside to play..... wrong move

I turned on the bubble maker and She snatched up my daughter and started screaming like she was being murdered, she ran up stairs to the people that live up there and called 911..

I went outside to tell my mom what just happen and the guy upstairs told me that she is telling the cops i hit her and slammed her AND MY DAUGHTER in a door 3 or 4 times, and that I smashed up her apartment, and the has bruises and Matilda's head is cut opened........ So my mom is like ok lets go get in the car I don't want you getting arrested...

NOOOOOOOO WAY..... I went right back down stairs and sat on the couch and waited for the cops, that way she can't go down there and smash up the apartment...

The cops got there only to find that the house was not smashed Matilda did not have a mark on her body and nether did her mother... but She insisted on going to the hospital, but just she went, she left Matilda at home with the grandma.... the ambulance report and the cops report both state that she was obviously trying to get pull in our court case and was lieing through her teeth! I was let go and she went to the hospital in the ambulance after being told there was nothing wrong with her...

So the next day OH DID YOU THINK THE STORY WAS OVER..... IT'S JUST GETTING GOOD......  So the next day I get a call from the police department telling me they need to come take another statement from me but they need it on audio and that they would come to my house to do it, so I agree ok no problems, we make an appointment and they come to my house

This is when I find out that she went to the police station with her mother to file a complaint on the cops for not arresting me, and she re took her statement about what happened at her house when I was there.
So her whole story changes she said was so concerned about Matilda, said that I split her head opened and she was bleeding, and she was so scared for her daughters life, but when they asked "why did you go to the hospital and leave Matilda at home", she had NOTHING to say, The cops then drove her home, so that could have a look at this "huge gash" on Matilda's head, but when they got there, there was no marks, and when asked where the mark went she said AND I QUOTE  "I don't know, weird, she must be a quick healer". LMFAO REALLY,

So the police had to do some 2 month long investigation on us and on the 2 cops that were on the original call, then I got copies of the report and brought tit to court~~

I'll have dig up the police report one of these days and give it a once over I know I have missed out on a lot of (not so funny but funny none the less) stuff in her restatement
 http://www.gofundme.com/SingleDadsFighingFathers
~Frank~

She's canceling my sleep over visit today.....

Hello:

So I moved yesterday busted my butt to have everything clean and safe for my sleep over visit today. On top of this  I spent money that would have otherwise saved (as I have been off work for a month due to a surgery I had to have) to get groceries, and a few things I needed to have for our visit.

Yesterday I sent Matilda's mother and grandmother my address after getting no response I followed up by asking if they need directions, still no response, I sent a text when I woke up this morning at 8am asking if they want me to pick her up, (The visit is supposed to start at 10am). So I finally get a response at 8:30, saying she has a doctors note, and Matilda is sick and come to my visit today.. (After giving me such a hard time about my Easter visit I know it's just games), My question is what time do the doctors open? shouldn't she have been able to tell me this earlier? like yesterday.   And I had her Sunday night (the day before yesterday) and she was fine, how sick could she have possibly gotten in 40 hours


Now I have a right to obtain any and all medical information about my daughter at any time from any and all doctors/teachers/baby sitters, any care givers she has.  So I asked for the name/address/phone# and date of the visit with the doctor, I also asked what was prescribed for her and where she filled the prescription?
This information can tell me how sick she actually is as the court order says I am able to care for her even when she is sick (within reason of course.) and I have gotten no response, so I Emailed my lawyer and we will see how things pan out.

I feel that it is very Important for me to be able to have Matilda even when she is sick, part of being a daddy is your children knowing that your are there for them in sickness and in health and I want Matilda to feel that way with me.

We only get to spend 47 hours a MONTH with each other (not even 2 full days...), and they already steal precious minutes from us by dropping her off 5 minutes late here 10 minutes late there.  and they are ALWAYS sitting in my driveway 20-30 minutes before its time to pick her up, just waiting to snatch her away from me.. I AM FED UP...
going to ask my lawyer to file for an emergency motion, instead of waiting until July or August for the date we are still waiting to find about....

Now hear me out.. I have to be afraid to tell her mother if I am taking Matilda to Niagara falls, (she would freak) even tho I am aloud to take her anywhere in Ontario with out any permission, I am sick of being bullied, She has no right, She still has not given me copies of Matilda's I.D.... what if something did happen and I had to take her to the hospital. and I want to open a bank account for her.

Am I taking this to far?
 should I leave it alone?
http://www.gofundme.com/SingleDadsFighingFathers
Please I need some advice on this one.....

How importmant are manners??

This visit Matilda wanted me to open a chocolate for her, but she kept saying "open this" now I know she is only 2 and a half, but she is nearing 3 and she knows her manners, and we both know that I know that she knows her manners!! but she was refusing to say please, so I did not open it, about an hour went by of her bugging me about it non stop, and me saying, all you have to do is please, or whats the magic words, when she started to cry, then scream, and i told her again "sweety' daddy wants to give you the chocolate, but you need to use your manners, if you just say please I will gladly open for you, she just kept crying and saying open it,, about half hour 45 minutes went by and she had cried herself to sleep.... an hour later she woke up brought me the chocolate and said, daddy can you open this for me please!

Was i right in doing this, is there a better approach? 
http://www.gofundme.com/SingleDadsFighingFathers
Please leave your comments. 

~Frank~

When searching for a good Family lawyer I.........

Hello,

Who your lawyer is is very important.

I went to as many different lawyers as I could, now I new from the start that I wanted a female lawyer, as I feel they are much better with getting there way.

It is important that you know your lawyer isn't going to tell you everything you want to hear, If you are asking for something that they know you wont get, they will tell you NO and it's up to you to try and convince them by giving them information they can use to make it happen. this is why I always say WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN, including the dates, and keep records any texts and emails good or bad!

When meeting with all the different lawyers: 

# The first thing I pay attention is how hard the Assistant/secretary is working, as they are the ones who do most of the office work, you will be talking to this person A LOT so be sure it is someone you will be comfortable talking to

# The second thing is I wanted someone who had compassion yet knows how to "fight fire with fire" and win!( if you know what I mean) when needed! listen to hear them talking on the phone and with co workers, ( you want them the be demanding on the phone and to get along with there co-workers) Tell them personal stories about your case, ASK QUESTIONS!!

# Then you need to know every lawyer has different views, always be completely honest about EVERYTHING with your lawyer, they will decide what needs to be said and when, and what does not need to be said at all, listen to them they usually know what they are doing,  If you don't agree with it then you need a lawyer with different views.  It's hard to see a lawyers views in the interview this why you have to tell stories and ask questions, tell them what you want and ask them what they think they can get you before making your choice.

# Next you want to make sure they are affordable. (The price of all lawyers very an expensive lawyer does not mean a good lawyer and a cheap lawyer does not mean a bad lawyer, a lot of the it's the other way around, this is why you must choose your lawyer so carefully)

# The last thing is to make sure they understand your EX things you think she is going to say or do, how hard is she going to fight you in court, you want them to be prepared, if they know it's going to be a difficult battle from the start it will give them a slight advantage, (give them time to gather information)
 
http://www.gofundme.com/SingleDadsFighingFathers
What kinds of thinks do you look for in a lawyer?? I will add my favorite 5 answers to the bottom of this post!!

what do you do when your EX badmouths you infront of your child and to your friends

   So my friend messages me on Facebook and tells me she spent the day with my little one on the weekend!
She took her kids to her friends child's birthday party, and yeah my EX and my daughter were there (small world.....). 

   So my EX sits there putting me down, saying this and that to my friend in front her friends and in front of my daughter, and to top it all off when my Ex's  mom came to pick her up the two of them cornered my friend (like a pack of wolves as she described it to me) and started asking her questions about me trying to get information that doesn't exist, doing anything in there power to try and make me look bad....

   This will happen to you to TRUST ME only lucky ones skip this......   well here's how you respond
Don't call your ex freaking out, don't even tell her you know about it, that's what she wants, she wants you to fall into her trap DON'T you are dealing with enough drama right now don't make it worse...... Is all you have to do is, make a note! Just make a note.. email your lawyer tell her    ( yes my lawyer is a her! lawyer selection was very important to me, perhaps I'll share that in another post)  everything that happened, your lawyer then put into the notes for the next court date! she may even send an email to the respondent (in my case) and that will be that.

   If you do have contact with your EX make sure it's over text message or email so you can keep a record, yes I know this is very sad but it has to be done, even if your situation is a less difficult then mine, you will still want to keep a record of anything important, because if they change their minds at any point they will not hesitate to lie and/or make stuff up.




  So that's what I did anyways, things like this have worked out in my favor in the past so we will see how it turns out!

 I know these things are going to happen, but it's all about how you handle them the court will only see it if you show them, and that's what they want to see, and if you handle badly you know the courts will hear about it.

What would you have done ? Nothing at all?

PLEASE post your comments in the comment box below!!!!

Frank S

More Baby Momma Drama... What to do now????

 Just when you think things are FINALLY starting to go well..........

So right now my daughter and I get to see each other once a week...Every other week is a sleep over so we get to spend 47 hours a month together.... That's not even 2 days...( and they always pull into my driveway 5 minutes late, and are ALWAYS sitting in my driveway 20 minutes early just counting down the minutes)....     and I get an extra sleep over on holidays.

So as you all know I am just recovering from my surgery and may have to return to work this week, in which case I will not be able to take the time I need off for my Easter visit as I just had 3 weeks off. So I have 3 solutions:

1. I take her on the Friday 9am until Saturday 1pm when I start work ( I'd be loosing a few
    hours of time but at least we would have some time together).
2. My regular visit on the following Tuesday becomes a 2 day visit.
3. We have 3 weeks of sleep over visits in a row.

To this I am told NO, it is an Easter visit it should be on Easter other wise there is no point. The courts said Saturday night to Sunday if you have to work that's your problem the schedule is the schedule, and I was told that 2 day visits are way too long and that's its not happening.....

Ok so to this I ask Is Friday not apart of Easter the whole weekend is Easter from good Friday to Easter Monday,  IF ANYTHING Saturday and Sunday  are not Easter, Besides it's not the day that matters it's the time spent together that counts right?

So I decide to mention the fact that we going back to court in July to straighten out the rest of this mess and that I will be getting my 2 night visits then anyways, so why keep punishing Matilda further just let her see her father, Well she thought court was over.... her lawyer basically ditched her from what I can tell right now, really If I kept my mouth shut it would have been a huge surprise when she gets served with the  new papers for July,  

So she asked me WHAT  this isn't good enough for you???? I couldn't help but to chuckle in disgust when I said no.... SHE IS MY DAUGHTER 47 HOURS A MONTH IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME AND IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER ETHER...... notice how she cries more then half the time when she is picked up from my house ? NEVER once has she cried when being dropped off to me! Nothing but giggles and smiles!, she started yelling and had asked me what I expect out of all this,  I then told her that she needs to calm down, and stop yelling in front of Matilda, and told her she needs to go home and read the OCL (Ontario children's lawyer) report that she got at our last court date. and that I am asking for what she recommended our settlement in court was not final it was only to last until Matilda turns 3 years old, (I guess her lawyer had forgotten to tell her about that part..) I then told her if she wants to, AFTER going home and reading the papers, we can go out to dinner somewhere and talk about it all  and see if we can come up with an agreement  so that we can just go to court no lawyers and no fees to pay, and just sign off!!!

It's going on day 5 now and I have not heard anything else...... I have sent my lawyer an email regarding my Easter visit, I hope she gets back to me soon, with some advice!