Dinner with my EX!

As you all know I had asked my EX to dinner to talk about mediation and more visitation!! and many people have been asking me about what happened and when I'm going to post a blog about it!! well here it is!!

I took her to the Mandarin so that if things got heated I could simply bite my tongue get another plate of food! This was not necessary!!

We got there and Matilda was the same as on our visits!! She wanted to be by my side the whole time, if I got up to get food she had to come with me!! when her Mom got up to get food she said OK bye mommy! but for the most par t we all got up and went together!

It was kinda weird though as it happened to be The Moon Festival.... A celebration of love.....

We talked normally for a while had a good time, and a good dinner, Matilda loves when we all get together like that, it almost never happens and when it does it is ALWAYS kinda awkward, for me anyways, ( I'm not the kind of person to pretend everything is OK, and I am still very angry with her for all the bonding time, experience and good nights  Matilda and I have lost, and I'm not sure I will ever get over it, but I do what I have to do to keep things floating on calm waters!

So when we were having desert I sprung it on her, I said "OK look their is no easy way for me to bring this up so I'm just going to say it, Things between us have been really good and I don't want to spoil that by springing court papers on you, I think we should go back to mediation, no lawyers, no fee's, and I want you to sign off on more visitation!".

She was not happy, she showed me her grumpy face, and I said, "and maybe after that we can start working on us."

Matilda, our 3 year old daughter shouted NOOO.... and my EX said there is no us, and asked me what I wanted for visitation!

I told her 2 nights/3 days a week, and a phone call every night to say good night, and also I want to make sure that I am there for Matilda's first day of school (not until next September, but I am planning ahead) and that I rights to go there and speak with teachers and receive phone calls from teachers!

She agreed to most of it!!!! why she took out one day every other week I don't know, Maybe she justs wants to hold on to that feeling of being in power?? IDK i wasn't going to fight it.. YET

Baby steps my friends, baby steps. choose your battles, know when to fight and when not to! Our visitations went up, hold the tongue, and save the fight for court!!

I went from a one night sleep over (24 hrs)  every other week a day visit on the week between to now having a one night sleep over every week and a two night sleep over every other week!!! That's from about 64 hours a month to almost 130 hours a month WITH NO COURT!!!! 

We have started the new scheduled  already but I have to find time to travel  3 hours bus ride to go to court and make a date for mediation! I'm not quite sure how that works as of yet, because we totally skipped that part the first time so if anyone has advice for me on that it would be greatly appreciated!!

I hope your enjoied the read!! and that my situation can some how help yours in the future.

Thanks to all my friends and supporters who helped me prepare for this dinner and talk!! Especially one of the admins on my FB page Single Dads/Fighting Fathers  Mart!

Thanks for reading and sharing.

Franklin Saplamaeff
http://www.gofundme.com/SingleDadsFighingFathers